Review: WHAT I LOST by Alexandra Ballard

What I Lost by Alexandra Ballard
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

What sixteen-year-old Elizabeth has lost so far: forty pounds, four jean sizes, a boyfriend, and her peace of mind. As a result, she’s finally a size zero. She’s also the newest resident at Wallingfield, a treatment center for girls like her—girls with eating disorders. Elizabeth is determined to endure the program so she can go back home, where she plans to start restricting her food intake again. She’s pretty sure her mom, who has her own size 0 obsession, needs treatment as much as she does. Maybe even more. Then Elizabeth begins receiving mysterious packages. Are they from her ex-boyfriend, a secret admirer, or someone playing a cruel trick?

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I have such mixed feelings about this book. On the one hand, it’s an important read—it deals with eating disorders in a very respectful way, and tackling issues like this is always tough. The author does a good job of bringing such a sensitive topic to the forefront. Yet it seemed a bit flat in its execution.

The representation of anorexia is also especially well done, and from what I know, it was pretty realistic as well as it showed Elizabeth’s journey to recovery.

But for me, the writing felt flat. The tone pretty much stayed the same throughout and I struggled a little with reading it at times as I kept getting distracted and couldn’t always remember which character was which. But the story itself was powerful enough for me to pull through and finish it.

There also were a couple of things I did feel that read a bit like a how-to manual for deceiving people about how much you’re eating, so these “tips” at hiding food could prove a little triggering for some readers. Just something to be aware of.

I’ve been reading a lot of novels looking at characters with eating disorders recently, and this is the first one I’ve come across where the mother of the protagonist also has an eating disorder which she is made to realise and come to terms with too. That gives this book a slight edge in that respect.

Overall this is a good read, it just lacked the emotional impact I was hoping for.