Review: GIRL FRIENDS by Holly Bourne

 

Girl Friends by Holly Bourne
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

"Men see women in two separate categories. There are the women they sleep with, and the women they fall in love with. And they will treat you differently based on that."

From the day they first meet as teenagers Fern and Jessica are best friends. Despite their differences, they are there for each other throughout everything, navigating the difficulties of growing up and fitting in. That is until Jessica crosses a line that Fern can't forgive.

But now, more than ten years later, Jessica has unexpectedly reappeared in Fern's life.

A lot has changed for them both - but can their relationship be different now they are older? Is it possible for either of them to rewrite the role that they have been cast in? Or will their shared history ultimately be doomed to repeat itself again?

Set between the present day and the past, GIRL FRIENDS is a blisteringly funny and devastating novel: both a joyful celebration of female friendship and a razor-sharp look at the damage we can all cause to those we claim to love the most.

---

So, I am a massive fan of Holly Bourne's YA novels, and I've been meaning to pick up one of her adult novels for quite a while. So when I discovered I could get a signed copy of Girl Friends, I was so, so excited. And it's... different to what I was expecting.

I was intrigued to see how she delivers a book for an adult readership. There's a lot more contemplation in this book, a slower pace, and more time to explore important themes and topics of debate, such as feminism and the different kinds of friendships. The writing was definitely denser, and structurally, it was a little slower too. We have dual timelines: when Fern is in her thirties, and also Fern as a teenager. These timelines alternate, but even within these timelines, we have some pretty big time gaps between their chapters--this was something that felt noticeably 'adult' to me rather than 'YA', as I'm a YA writer who's now writing for adults as well, it's something that really interested me.

Characterisation, as always with Holly Bourne's books, is great. Seriously great. Every character felt so real, but we could also see their flaws too. They weren't perfect. They felt authentic and genuine, and we could see how no one person was 100% 'all good' or 'all bad'.

This book covers a lot of important topics: sexual assault, rape, peer pressure, drug and alcohol abuse (particularly among teens), self-harm, mental illness, jealousy, and self-esteem issues. I'm probably forgetting some others too, but I'd say the heart of this book is about relationships, both romantic and sexual relationships, and friendships.

This novel makes some pretty strong statements about men and how they act and behave--insinuating that all straight men are like this. Of course, these statements are from the mouth of Jessica, I think, and she's a pretty opinionated character, but we see how these things sit with Fern for years and change the way she looks at her own partner. And of course this makes the reader do this too. One scene in particular made me feel quite uneasy, as I wondered if this would also apply to my husband...

Jessica is also a fantastic character. She's the popular girl at school--but mainly popular among boys for her 'sex uses' and not popular among girls. Fern is pretty much her only friend. Fern feels plain and boring compared to her. Jessica is the one all the boys want. And, across the teen years, Jessica also gets with three boys that Fern is either interested in or with--which really paints Jessica in a not-so-great light. I was right on Fern's side with that, but then the ending twists things magnificently. Jessica points out that each time when this happened, she was either drunk or high and being taken advantage of. She needed help from her girl friends (Fern) but Fern had begun to see her as just the 'slut' that the boys painted her as. And this just really got me thinking, as I fell into this trap too, judging Jessica and thinking she wasn't a great friend.

This book makes you think a lot about society and the way women and girls are programmed to look down upon other women and girls who are perhaps obviously more sexual. But then it makes you think about how men and boys also shape those same women to be more sexual, and opens your eyes to the abuse and sexual assaults that go on there too.

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Review: THE GIRLS ARE ALL SO NICE HERE by Laurie Elizabeth Flynn

 

The Girls Are All So Nice Here by Laurie Elizabeth Flynn
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A USA TODAY Best Book of 2021

Two former best friends return to their college reunion to find that they’re being circled by someone who wants revenge for what they did ten years before—and will stop at nothing to get it—in this “propulsive” (Megan Miranda, bestselling author of The Girl from Widow Hills) psychological thriller.

A lot has changed in years since Ambrosia Wellington graduated from college, and she’s worked hard to create a new life for herself. But then an invitation to her ten-year reunion arrives in the mail, along with an anonymous note that reads, “We need to talk about what we did that night.”

It seems that the secrets of Ambrosia’s past—and the people she thought she’d left there—aren’t as buried as she believed. Amb can’t stop fixating on what she did or who she did it with: larger-than-life Sloane “Sully” Sullivan, Amb’s former best friend, who could make anyone do anything.

At the reunion, Amb and Sully receive increasingly menacing messages, and it becomes clear that they’re being pursued by someone who wants more than just the truth of what happened that first semester. This person wants revenge for what they did and the damage they caused—the extent of which Amb is only now fully understanding. And it was all because of the game they played to get a boy who belonged to someone else and the girl who paid the price.

Alternating between the reunion and Amb’s freshman year, The Girls Are All So Nice Here is a “chilling and twisty thriller” (Book Riot) about the brutal lengths girls can go to get what they think they’re owed, and what happens when the games we play in college become matters of life and death. 

— 

Dark, toxic female friendships. A stunning debut adult thriller. I’ve loved L.E. Flynn’s YA thrillers, and her first adult novel did not disappoint. 

Ambrosia Wellington is one hell of a character. Complex, hurting, haunted, and trying to forget her past and her involvement in her roommate’s death.

The twists here were shocking, the voice compelling, and I couldn’t listen to this audiobook fast enough. The storyline deftly weaves between past and present, showing how the effects of toxic female friendship are never really over. This is exactly the type of adult thriller I love.

I wasn’t entirely sure about one of the narrators at first, but she turned out being the perfect choice.

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Review: IDENTICAL by Ellen Hopkins

 

Identical by Ellen Hopkins
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Do twins begin in the womb?
Or in a better place?

Kaeleigh and Raeanne are identical down to the dimple. As daughters of a district-court judge father and a politician mother, they are an all-American family—on the surface. Behind the facade each sister has her own dark secret, and that's where their differences begin.

For Kaeleigh, she's the misplaced focus of Daddy's love, intended for a mother whose presence on the campaign trail means absence at home. All that Raeanne sees is Daddy playing a game of favorites—and she is losing. If she has to lose, she will do it on her own terms, so she chooses drugs, alcohol, and sex.

Secrets like the ones the twins are harboring are not meant to be kept—from each other or anyone else. Pretty soon it's obvious that neither sister can handle it alone, and one sister must step up to save the other, but the question is—who?

—

It’s taken me a little while to write this review, but honestly, this book was amazing. I’m a massive fan of verse novels, and Hopkins has to be one of the best verse novelists I’ve read so far. IDENTICAL is the story of Kaeleigh and Raeanne (I listened to the audiobook so I only just looked up the spelling of their names!), and they are identical twins, but Hopkins really shows how different they are.

The contrasts between them were beautifully done—and that just made the twist at the end all the more powerful. I did not see that coming, and it was expertly done!

This book covers some difficult topics: child sexual abuse at the hands of a parent, death, grief, mental illness (including disordered eating and dissociative personality disorder/multiple personality disorder—I don’t know the correct term, sorry!). But it also looks at positives too: Support of (good) family members, friendships and supportive relationship.

The writing itself is lyrical, poignant, powerful, and stunning. Listening to this was a delight—which is kind of a weird thing to say, given what this story was about. I now recommend this novel to my students as an example of verse storytelling.

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Review: BEFORE WE WERE BLUE by E.J. Schwartz

 

Before We Were Blue by E.J. Schwartz
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Get healthy on their own—or stay sick together?

At Recovery and Relief, a treatment center for girls with eating disorders, the first thing Shoshana Winnick does is attach herself to vibrant but troubled Rowan Parish. Shoshana—a cheerleader on a hit reality TV show—was admitted for starving herself to ensure her growth spurt didn’t ruin her infamous tumbling skills. Rowan, on the other hand, has known anorexia her entire life, thanks to her mother’s “chew and spit” guidance. Through the drudgery and drama of treatment life, Shoshana and Rowan develop a fierce intimacy—and for Rowan, a budding infatuation, that neither girl expects.

As “Gray Girls,” patients in the center’s Gray plan, Shoshana and Rowan are constantly under the nurses’ watchful eyes. They dream of being Blue, when they will enjoy more freedom and the knowledge that their days at the center are numbered. But going home means separating and returning to all the challenges they left behind. The closer Shoshana and Rowan become, the more they cling to each other—and their destructive patterns. Ultimately, the girls will have to choose: their recovery or their relationship.

-- 

This book has everything I could possibly want. I love sad and haunting stories that also offer hope, and BEFORE WE WERE BLUE, E. J. Schwartz's debut, gives just that.

I requested an ARC of this book on NetGalley because the cover was just so beautiful. Then I started reading it and realised it was about eating disorders--and I was drawn right in. In fact, I fell in love with this story as soon as I started it. Chapter one gives us Shoshana's POV as she's in RR, a recovery programme for her eating disorder. Immediately, I was pulled into her world and her life. She felt so, so real, and the writing was beautiful. There's something so compelling about the writing, in fact, that I just couldn't put it down. I knew immediately that this was a five-star book for me--and then I got Rowan's POV. And, just, wow. I didn't think this book could get it better, but chapter two just lifted it beyond 5 stars. We'd already met Rowan from Shoshana's POV, but chapter two, written in direct address from Rowan to Shoshana reveals the one-sided nature and complex intricacies of their friendship. There's this hard, toxic edge to Rowan and we realise she's using Shoshana. My heart was pounding reading this. It's just deliciously addictive.

Schwartz is a master of characterisation and voice, and I wasn't prepared for just how good this book was going to be. Every chapter, as I got deeper into the story, made me fall even more for this book. Shoshana and Rowan feel so real. I was breathing their stories, and Schwartz covers a lot of ground in this book.

Both girls are suffering from eating disorders, and there's a lot of discourse on bodies and social media. Shoshana is a professional cheerleader who developed her ED as a response to the pressures of this (and a pretty nasty coach), while Rowan has had her ED for longer, likely having, in some part, 'inherited' the behaviours from her mother who also showed signs of this. This book also really looks into the psychology of eating disorders and how they're often linked to other conditions--not just the physical ones caused by the effects of starvation and malnutrition, but other mental illnesses too. And it looks at WHY eating disorders can occur and how and why someone can relapse during/after treatment. There's one line from Shoshana that particularly struck me--she says about how she just wanted to be gone, and this jus really got to me. It resonated with me, and I think so many people think that eating disorders are just about food and body image, and someone's mental torture and desperation to disappear can often be overlooked because of this.

The friendship between Rowan and Shoshana is masterfully written. Rowan's arc in particular is impressive--she starts off wanting to hold onto her status as 'gray' (those whose EDs are controlling them more), and she's proud of it. She wants to be disciplined and seen as disciplined enough to maintain her status as gray (again, these were things I could personally relate to). But we see Rowan's mindset changing as she decides she wants to get better--and this coincides with her realisation about how she's been using Shoshana and needs to be a better friend.

Rowan's arc cleverly contrasts with Shoshana's. When Rowan's resisting progress at the start of the book, Shoshana is making it. When Rowan makes progress at the end, Shoshana's hitting 'rock bottom' again (perhaps, worse than before). But

This is definitely a story of friendship too--in all its different types--and we see how close and dependent the two narrators are on each other. There was this super intense relationship between them that I just adored. Now, I must just mention here that I am ace, and a lot of things that Shoshana said had me getting strong ace vibes. But I kept thinking that it wouldn't got that way, that it was just a coincidence--and then the author confirmed that this was in fact ace rep! At that point, I hadn't thought I could love this book any more, but I really did. This was just...amazing. A book that I could personally relate to not just on the eating disorder rep but also the ace rep. I was speechless. I almost couldn't believe I'd found such a perfect book for me.

I was so sad when I finished this book. I'd felt so seen in these pages, and I just wanted it to continue.

E.J. Schwartz is now an auto-buy author for me. BEFORE WE WERE BLUE is a complex look at eating disorders, friendship, social media and societal pressures, the process of healing, and asexuality. It's masterfully written, compelling and powerful, and I could not turn the pages fast enough.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC copy.

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Review: NOT ALL BLACK GIRLS KNOW HOW TO EAT: A STORY OF BULIMIA by Stephanie Covington Armstrong

 

Not All Black Girls Know How to Eat: A Story of Bulimia by Stephanie Covington Armstrong
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Stephanie Covington Armstrong does not fit the stereotype of a woman with an eating disorder. She grew up poor and hungry in the inner city. Foster care, sexual abuse, and overwhelming insecurity defined her early years. But the biggest difference is her race: Stephanie is black.
 
In this moving first-person narrative, Armstrong describes her struggle as a black woman with a disorder consistently portrayed as a white woman’s problem. Trying to escape her selfhatred and her food obsession by never slowing down, Stephanie becomes trapped in a downward spiral. Finally, she can no longer deny that she will die if she doesn’t get help, overcome her shame, and conquer her addiction to using food as a weapon against herself.
 
For more information about the book and eating disorders, visit www.notallblackgirls.com

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I read this book as part of my MA in Creative Writing as I'd chosen to examine race within eating disorder representation in YA novels. While this book isn't YA or a novel, I found Stephanie Covington Armstrong's memoir extremely helpful for my assignment in which I was arguing that a lot of YA depictions not only gender eating disorder as women's illnesses but also suggest that only white women get them. And this is exactly what Covington Armstrong writes about in this memoir.

The writing is beautiful, and, I'll be honest, the content is harrowing. Of course, there's dark stuff in here--not just around body image and eating disorders and the reality of having bulimia, but we also see how the author was sexually assaulted as a child by her uncle. We see her fragmented relationships with authority figures after this and her anger at various family members.

This book also really shows how eating disorders can be thought of as an addiction, something I hadn't really fully realised before. It was enlightening.

Structurally, it's divided into three parts: before the eating disorder, during, and after/the recovery. This last section did seem a bit simplistic at times, and the author highlights her reliance on God for recovery. This was the part I related to the least really, but as this is memoir and not fiction, how I relate to the events isn't really important. This is Covington Armstrong's story.

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Review: SHINY BROKEN PIECES by Sona Charaipotra and Dhonielle Clayton

 

Shiny Broken Pieces by Sona Charaipotra
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

June, Bette, and Gigi have given their all to dance at Manhattan’s most elite ballet school. Now they are competing one final time for a spot at the prestigious American Ballet Company. With the stakes higher than ever, these girls have everything to lose… and no one is playing nice.

June is starting to finally see herself as a prima ballerina. However, getting what she wants might cost her everything—including the only boy she’s ever loved. Legacy dancer Bette is determined to clear her name after she was suspended and accused of hurting her rival, Gigi. Even if she returns, though, will she ever regain the spotlight she craves? And Gigi is not going to let Bette—or the other dancers who bullied her—go unpunished. But as revenge consumes her, Gigi may be the one who pays the price.

After years of grueling auditions, torn ribbons, and broken hearts, it all comes down to this last dance. Who will make the cut? And who will lose her dream forever?

--- 

If I could give this book more than 5 stars, I would. I already loved the first book in the series and rated that one 5 stars, because it was so good--and so I wasn't expecting the sequel to be even better. But it is...

Book one ends with a pretty big event (spoilers for book 1 here): Gigi's been run over and one of the ballet dancers was behind it. This book opens a little while after this. Gigi is now recovered and returning to the school (alongside Cassie who is also returning--Cassie was absent on-page from book 1, having also been injured in the bullying). June is back at the school too but on thin ice as the school are now aware of her eating disorder and tell her she will be asked to leave if she doesn't improve. Bette is back at her family home for much of the book, having been excluded from the school who believe she was responsible for Gigi's accident--even though Bette's narrative tells us she wasn't and she's determined to find out who was.

So the stakes are immediately high in this book and it takes on almost thriller vibes at times. And it's just so tense--because the girls in this book are even more vicious than in the last book!

Gigi and Cassie team up together, which is understandable as there's no way Gigi is going to trust Bette or June. But Cassie is so, so toxic though and we see her manipulating Gigi, getting her to do things she'd never normally do (such as giving Eleanor peanuts when the girl has a severe peanut allergy). Gigi also cuts off all of June's hair, and there are numerous other things she now does without question due to the mindset that her accident and Cassie's manipulation have got her into.

And Gigi isn't the only one whose 'pranks' turn more severe. We see June also upping her game, and we see just how far Bette will go to clean her name.

Of course there's more darkness in this book--but I actually think it was handled even better than in book one. (Spoilers ahead). We've got a predatory teacher preying on Eleanor (Bette's best friend), and Bette takes photographic evidence of this. When these photos are mysteriously leaked to the students and teachers, Eleanor is blamed and slut-shamed--and then she attempts suicide too. My heart was racing at this point and I couldn't read fast enough to see if Eleanor was okay.

June's eating disorder becomes even more prominent, and she's also balancing this with the stress of the future of her romantic relationship with Jahye, as he wants her to relocate to where he's going to college, which would mean giving up her dreams of being a professional ballet dancer.

In fact, all three narrators--June, Bette, and Gigi--are worrying about their future in this book, as are all the other main characters (Cassie, Will, etc). This is their last year at the ballet school and the school only offers places to two dancers. There's this huge sense of urgency and inevitable change.

One of the reasons I really loved this sequel is because I felt Bette's character was more fully fleshed out. In book 1, she's backstabbing and manipulative--and she is in this book two, but we learn more about her. Because she's at home for a lot of the book, we get an insight to her family life that we didn't have before and we meet her father who left her. We also understand more about why she's so jealous of Gigi as she is still in love with her ex (Gigi's boyfriend). And we get a lot more insight into Bette's addiction too and how she struggles with drugs.

In fact, I think this book has more psychological insight for all the narrators--especially June. 

And, of course, it's a hugely diverse book in terms of race and disability/chronic illness. 

The only 'negative' I have about it (and I had to think hard about this one!) is the male characters, mainly the male ballet dancers. Because the female ballet dancers' personalities were so strong and so well developed, they felt flatter in comparison. I did catch myself skimming over scenes with Alec and Will, at times, purely because I wanted to get to the 'heart' of the novel where it was about the backstabbing girls pretty much plotting to murder each other.

But this has to be one of my top reads.

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Review: MY DARK VANESSA by Kate Elizabeth Russell

 

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Exploring the psychological dynamics of the relationship between a precocious yet naïve teenage girl and her magnetic and manipulative teacher, a brilliant, all-consuming read that marks the explosive debut of an extraordinary new writer.

2000. Bright, ambitious, and yearning for adulthood, fifteen-year-old Vanessa Wye becomes entangled in an affair with Jacob Strane, her magnetic and guileful forty-two-year-old English teacher.

2017. Amid the rising wave of allegations against powerful men, a reckoning is coming due. Strane has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, who reaches out to Vanessa, and now Vanessa suddenly finds herself facing an impossible choice: remain silent, firm in the belief that her teenage self willingly engaged in this relationship, or redefine herself and the events of her past. But how can Vanessa reject her first love, the man who fundamentally transformed her and has been a persistent presence in her life? Is it possible that the man she loved as a teenager—and who professed to worship only her—may be far different from what she has always believed?

Alternating between Vanessa’s present and her past, My Dark Vanessa juxtaposes memory and trauma with the breathless excitement of a teenage girl discovering the power her own body can wield. Thought-provoking and impossible to put down, this is a masterful portrayal of troubled adolescence and its repercussions that raises vital questions about agency, consent, complicity, and victimhood. Written with the haunting intimacy of The Girls and the creeping intensity of Room, My Dark Vanessa is an era-defining novel that brilliantly captures and reflects the shifting cultural mores transforming our relationships and society itself.

-- 
Oh my goodness. This book is dark. It is intense. It's amazing. And it's such an important read.

Content warning for sexual abuse, sexual assault, child sexual abuse, and grooming.

So I listened to the audiobook of this one, and I was just overwhelmed. I think that's the best way to describe my reaction. I found it difficult to listen to--and several times I had to stop when the story just became too much. It felt too real, and the rape scenes were very graphic. It made me feel sick, and as someone who's experienced sexual violence, this book just hit too close to home several times.

But I couldn't leave the book alone for long. I always had to know what happened next. I had to know if Vanessa would realise that she had been abused, and I had to know if her abuser would pay. But I think it was the first of those reasons--needing to see if Vanessa would or could understand what had happened to her was wrong--was what really drove the story. Because for a lot of the book, the relationship she had with her teacher was romanticised. And it was romanticised a lot. It's skillfully written, because as an adult reader, I could see what it was: a predatory, abusive relationship, even though for a long time, the main character can't see this. And I think what really helped was that we get pretty much duel timelines. We see her as an adult looking back (albeit she still isn't accepting that it was wrong, still believing her relationship with the man to be different, even as he is now facing accusations of abusing other girls at the school). And because we get these different perspectives--adult Vanessa as well as teenage/child Vanessa--that's what really makes this story a masterpiece.

We see the effects of this abuse on Vanessa as an adult, even though she's still struggling to see it for what it was. We see her going to therapists and struggling to hold relationships with others, both romantic and familial. We see the effects of the abuse on her relationship with her parents, both at the time when she was a fifteen-year-old and now as an adult. But we also see the the changing attitudes toward sexual assault and child sexual abuse and grooming in the book.

As a child, Vanessa takes the blame for it all when others find out about her relationship with the teacher. The fact that the teacher actually coerced her into taking the blame, really manipulating her, set me teeth on edge as I was reading, and I felt so, so angry.

But we do see how attitudes are changing in the book--as an adult, and when others have come forward about this teaching abusing them, Vanessa is starting to accept what happened to her was abuse and we see others supporting her.

There wasn't really a sense of justice though, (spoiler ahead), as the predatory teacher takes his own life about halfway through the adult timeline of the book, which does lead to Vanessa having to deal with guilt over this as well. While I desperately wanted there to be justice, I can't deny that that wouldn't have been right for the story that the author was telling here. She was focusing on Vanessa and showing what does happen.

This book is dark, probably the darkest thing I've ever read. It's disturbing. There's no denying it. I think that's why I wouldn't necessarily say I 'enjoyed' this book. It was emotionally draining. But it was so, so good. Really well written. And it's an important book that needs to be read.

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Review: POINTE by Brandy Colbert

 

Pointe by Brandy Colbert
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Theo is better now.

She's eating again, dating guys who are almost appropriate, and well on her way to becoming an elite ballet dancer. But when her oldest friend, Donovan, returns home after spending four long years with his kidnapper, Theo starts reliving memories about his abduction—and his abductor.

Donovan isn't talking about what happened, and even though Theo knows she didn't do anything wrong, telling the truth would put everything she's been living for at risk. But keeping quiet might be worse.

-- 

This book!!! This book has SO MUCH THAT I LOVE IN A YOUNG ADULT BOOK!

It's got ballet--huge bonus, and this is primarily what drew me to the book as I'm on the lookout for ballet books at the moment.

It's got a girl in recovery for an eating disorder--this is also what drew me to the book, as I'm examining eating disorders in YA lit as part of my MA in Creative Writing. (And the eating disorder rep is really good and authentic in this one).

It's got a child abduction--so this sounds weird saying that I love this in a book, but it gives it the thriller vibe that I adore.

And it's also got darkness. A lot of darkness.

Theo is the main character, a Black ballet dancer and the one with the eating disorder. Her best friend Donovan was kidnapped several years ago, but now he's back. And the man who is facing trial for abducting him? He's also a friend of Theo's.

Okay, spoilers ahead.

We quickly learn that thirteen-year-old Theo was more than friends with eighteen-year-old man who went on to abduct Donovan. We learn that she was also groomed sexually by this man, and we see her come to terms with the fact she was raped by him.

She struggles a lot with this, not believing it to be rape at first, but then realises she needs to tell the truth to help Donovan. And I think that's what is at the heart of this book--truth.

It's raw and it doesn't shy away from difficult topics. In fact, this book does an awful lot. And that's what makes it such a vital read. I'd recommend parents of teens read this one too, not just young adults. It really is eye-opening.

Content warnings for child sexual abuse and rape, drugs, grooming, mental illness, eating disorders, low self-esteem.

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Review: OFF THE RECORD by Camryn Garrett

 

Off the Record by Camryn Garrett
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The behind-the-scenes access of Almost Famous meets the searing revelations of #metoo in this story of a teen journalist who uncovers the scandal of the decade.

Ever since seventeen-year-old Josie Wright can remember, writing has been her identity, the thing that grounds her when everything else is a garbage fire. So when she wins a contest to write a celebrity profile for Deep Focus magazine, she’s equal parts excited and scared, but also ready. She’s got this.

Soon Josie is jetting off on a multi-city tour, rubbing elbows with sparkly celebrities, frenetic handlers, stone-faced producers, and eccentric stylists. She even finds herself catching feelings for the subject of her profile, dazzling young newcomer Marius Canet. Josie’s world is expanding so rapidly, she doesn’t know whether she’s flying or falling. But when a young actress lets her in on a terrible secret, the answer is clear: she’s in over her head.

One woman’s account leads to another and another. Josie wants to expose the man responsible, but she’s reluctant to speak up, unsure if this is her story to tell. What if she lets down the women who have entrusted her with their stories? What if this ends her writing career before it even begins? There are so many reasons not to go ahead, but if Josie doesn’t step up, who will?

From the author of Full Disclosure, this is a moving testament to the #MeToo movement, and all the ways women stand up for each other. 

--- 

Oh my goodness. How have I not reviewed this book sooner?

I read it a couple of months ago, and, just wow. This book is amazing. It's got the most realistic depiction of anxiety that I've ever seen. And I loved how Josie, the main character, doesn't have friends. She's got her sisters, and though she wishes she has close friends, we see realism reflected here. It is so good.

In the wake of #MeToo movement, this book is so, so important. Writing is the most important thing in Josie's life, and she not only wins a competition to write for a top magazine, but she also uses her writing to expose a predator and the awful behaviour and actions (sexual assaults) that a lot of young women and men experience in the film industry. This book just feels so, so important, and I almost got nervous reading it.

There's also romance that feels really wholesome and genuine, and I loved how Josie made mistakes in this. She wasn't perfect and a lot of the time she let her beliefs blind her to other things. (Oh and there's bisexual rep too!) 

Sisterhood is very important in this novel. Josie has her sisters and we really see the strength of their bond. We see it on the page, and this was just amazing. 

And there are also so many things in this book too that it tackles: racism, body image, sexuality, mental illness, art vs creator.    

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Review: FRIEND REQUEST by Laura Marshall

 

Friend Request by Laura Marshall
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

1989. When Louise first notices the new girl who has mysteriously transferred late into their senior year, Maria seems to be everything the girls Louise hangs out with aren't. Authentic. Funny. Brash. Within just a few days, Maria and Louise are on their way to becoming fast friends.

2016. Louise receives a heart-stopping email: Maria Weston wants to be friends on Facebook. Long-buried memories quickly rise to the surface: those first days of their budding friendship; cruel decisions made and dark secrets kept; the night that would change all their lives forever.

Louise has always known that if the truth ever came out, she could stand to lose everything. Her job. Her son. Her freedom. Maria's sudden reappearance threatens it all, and forces Louise to reconnect with everyone she'd severed ties with to escape the past. But as she tries to piece together exactly what happened that night, Louise discovers there's more to the story than she ever knew. To keep her secret, Louise must first uncover the whole truth, before what's known to Maria--or whoever's pretending to be her--is known to all.

--

Oh, this book! So, when I first started reading it, I found the opening a bit slow. It was a take-it-or-leave-it book for me for a while, but then the pacing suddenly picked up and I couldn't read it quickly enough.

Louise has a secret. She was involved in the murder of her former friend Maria, at high school. Now she's an adult and a mother, and suddenly she's receiving messages from someone who's supposedly Maria. Louise panics and goes to see Sophie, the ring-leader of the bullies at school (the one who made Louise bully Maria). As an adult, Sophie is calmer and seems less mean and insecure--she was a classic bully at school--and Sophie has also been receiving messages from 'Maria'. And when they both go to a high school reunion, things get out of hand.

The story alternates between the present day and the characters' school years. The teenage girls in this are written so very well--the bullying seems so real and authentic, and the author really captures just how mean teen girls can be.

There are twists throughout this book, and barring the beginning, the pacing is good. This was one of those books where I could not work out who the real murderer was... every time I thought I knew, I was thrown off a little. And when we had the reveal at the end, I just couldn't read fast enough.

The identity of the person behind 'Maria' was a little bit of a let-down if I'm honest as that character didn't really have much page-time earlier in the book. But the reveal of the murderer was so good. Really gripping writing. 

Trigger warning for rape.  

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Review: SPEAK by Laurie Halse Anderson

 

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The first ten lies they tell you in high school.

"Speak up for yourself—we want to know what you have to say."

From the first moment of her freshman year at Merryweather High, Melinda knows this is a big fat lie, part of the nonsense of high school. She is friendless, outcast, because she busted an end-of-summer party by calling the cops, so now nobody will talk to her, let alone listen to her. As time passes, she becomes increasingly isolated and practically stops talking altogether. Only her art class offers any solace, and it is through her work on an art project that she is finally able to face what really happened at that terrible party: she was raped by an upperclassman, a guy who still attends Merryweather and is still a threat to her. Her healing process has just begun when she has another violent encounter with him. But this time Melinda fights back, refuses to be silent, and thereby achieves a measure of vindication.

In Laurie Halse Anderson's powerful novel, an utterly believable heroine with a bitterly ironic voice delivers a blow to the hypocritical world of high school. She speaks for many a disenfranchised teenager while demonstrating the importance of speaking up for oneself.

Speak was a 1999 National Book Award Finalist for Young People's Literature.

----

As I've come to expect from Laurie Halse Anderson's work, this is a powerful novel. It's about a girl who was raped and how she's been silenced because of it. It's about the people who won't listen to her or give her a chance. It's about how we assume things about other people.

Melinda is a great character. She feels real and authentic. Her narrative voice is so, so strong and I couldn't stop reading this book. It's very much a character-driven story, with less emphasis on plot, but that really works for this story--if there was more of a plot, the important messages would be lost a little.

I found quite a few passages hard to read, precisely because it's so well written that it was just evoking memories in me of bad experiences. I really felt like I was being haunted when I read this book. But the language is just masterful--some of the imagery is just outstanding.

This is a powerful novel that I recommend everyone reads. Trigger-warning for rape. 

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Review: LUCKIEST GIRL ALIVE by Jessica Knoll (audiobook narrated by Madeleine Maby)

 

Luckiest Girl Alive by Jessica Knoll
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

HER PERFECT LIFE IS A PERFECT LIE.

As a teenager at the prestigious Bradley School, Ani FaNelli endured a shocking, public humiliation that left her desperate to reinvent herself. Now, with a glamorous job, expensive wardrobe, and handsome blue blood fiancé, she’s this close to living the perfect life she’s worked so hard to achieve.

But Ani has a secret.

There’s something else buried in her past that still haunts her, something private and painful that threatens to bubble to the surface and destroy everything.

With a singular voice and twists you won’t see coming, Luckiest Girl Alive explores the unbearable pressure that so many women feel to “have it all” and introduces a heroine whose sharp edges and cutthroat ambition have been protecting a scandalous truth, and a heart that's bigger than it first appears.

The question remains: will breaking her silence destroy all that she has worked for—or, will it at long last, set Ani free?

--

This is the first audiobook I've ever listened to, and it was a great one to start with. LUCKIEST GIRL ALIVE is a complex story of lies, trust, and one woman's desperation to be 'perfect'. We meet Ani when she's in her late twenties, and she seems to have it all: a great job, a great boyfriend, an impending marriage, great prospects in life. But right from the start, there's something disturbing about our narrating character. It becomes clear very quickly that Ani has a dark side. And I just LOVE dark narrators. She's also pretty unlikeable and not your typical female narrator--and that I just loved.

(Spoilers ahead:)

Ani is a disturbed woman with lots of secrets--least of all that she murdered someone. I hesitate to call her a murderer because as the book reveals it was in self-defence and happened when she was 14. And wow, this girl's past is just phenomenal. The book alternates between present-day action where Ani is preparing to take part in a documentary to 'set the record straight' about what happened when she was school, and gives us real-time chapters of that time.

We follow Ani as she joins the Bradley school, as she becomes mixed up in toxic friendship groups, as she becomes victim of sexual assault and rape, as she suddenly finds herself in a school shooting. This book is POWERFUL. That, I can't stress this enough. And the characterisation is so phenomenal. In the present-day, Ani comes across as an entitled and arrogant woman who cares wholly about perceptions and what others think when they see her. Yet, from reading everything that's happened to her, it becomes understandable. This new identity is one she's actually constructed to protect herself.

And it's not just her characterisation which is amazing. Every single character in this book has amazing characterisation--and this makes it quite complicated in some respects, as Ani's rapists are shown to have good traits. It makes it realistic, but it also makes for such a disturbing read. Jessica Knoll is an expert.

I particularly liked as, the more we read, the more layers of the main characters were revealed. This was especially the case with Luke, the 'perfect' fiance. By about the halfway point, his true character had been revealed, and I desperately wanted Ani to do better than him. So, I was really satisfied with the ending, where she leaves him.

There's also a big emphasis on names and identity in this book. Throughout it, Ani has multiple names referring to the various different identities she has been through--she reinvented herself after leaving the Bradley school, going by Ani then (whereas before she was Tiffany). And this just seemed really realistic and added to the idea that 'Ani' (the successful and rich magazine editor) is a construction. Ani is a cage around Tiffany, one to protect her--and that final line of the book, where Ani reclaims her identity as Tiffany FaNelli, is just so powerful because of this.

There are some difficult scenes in this book, as can be expected. At 14, Tiffany is invited to a party by her male classmates. She is the only girl there, and she's raped by three of them. She later attends Planned Parenthood to get the Morning After pill. When her mother finds out about this, we get a victim-blaming narrative from her (which is challenged by other characters). We're also dealing with content about suicide and mass-shootings in schools. Children do die in this book and it is heart-wrenching. The shooters are both children too--one of whom is Tiffany's friend.

Madeleine Maby is a terrific narrator. That has to be said too. I was apprehensive about audiobooks, thinking I wouldn't be sucked in in the way I am when reading a paperback or ebook, and although the experience of listening to an audiobook is different, this really was excellent.

I highly recommend this story of identity, revenge, loss, lies, and secrets.

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Review: GROWN by Tiffany D. Jackson

 

Grown by Tiffany D. Jackson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Korey Fields is dead.

When Enchanted Jones wakes with blood on her hands and zero memory of the previous night, no one—the police and Korey’s fans included—has more questions than she does. All she really knows is that this isn't how things are supposed to be. Korey was Enchanted’s ticket to stardom.

Before there was a dead body, Enchanted was an aspiring singer, struggling with her tight knit family’s recent move to the suburbs while trying to find her place as the lone Black girl in high school. But then legendary R&B artist Korey Fields spots her at an audition. And suddenly her dream of being a professional singer takes flight.

Enchanted is dazzled by Korey’s luxurious life but soon her dream turns into a nightmare. Behind Korey’s charm and star power hides a dark side, one that wants to control her every move, with rage and consequences. Except now he’s dead and the police are at the door. Who killed Korey Fields?

All signs point to Enchanted.

Award-winning author Tiffany D. Jackson delivers another riveting, ripped-from-the-headlines mystery that exposes horrific secrets hiding in the limelight and the power of a young woman’s voice.

--

This book. Wow.

So I finished GROWN about a week ago, and I immediately began another Tiffany D. Jackson book (Allegedly) as I felt I had to read more of her work right away, while I processed Grown. Because this book is amazing.

Inspired by the allegations of sexual misconduct against R. Kelly, Grown tells the story of 29-year-old Korey Fields, a powerful singer who grooms and abuses teenage girls, the latest of whom is Enchanted Jones, our protagonist. We're swept up, just like Enchanted is, as Korey pays her attention and promises to help her launch her own singing career. And the writing is so strong and powerful, that we almost 'feel' the grooming and emotional manipulation taking place. This book--I haven't even got the words to express it.

We feel Enchanted's fear as she realises the danger she's now in, and we feel her helplessness. This is just so well written. And Jackson does a great job of exposing what grooming's really like and how 'easily' it can happen. I also really appreciated how she showed just how many other people kept quiet about the abuse, allowing it to happen (all the people Korey was close to), how the abusers are automatically believed over the victims, particularly when the abusers are in positions of power and fame, and how the abuse was both psychological and physical. All too often, we see stories liked this where the abuse is either one of the other, but it's realistic to show how it's both at the same time.

There are some hugely tough and triggering scenes in this: Korey locks Enchanted in a room for days with only a bucket to go to the toilet in, he strips away her dignity, her hope, he lies about her family, telling Enchanted that her parents are angry with her, and also that he's giving them money for having her. There's also sexual assault and rape--and we see this not just with Enchanted, but with another girl, Amber who's fourteen. There's also drug use, addiction, self-harm, suicide threats, and power misuse.

And the book opens with Korey dead and Enchanted covered in blood--that's what makes this different from a story of grooming and paedophilia. It's a tense thriller too. And the narrative alternates between telling us the story of the grooming and sexual abuse, with the present day story of the aftermath of Korey's death and how Enchanted's being set up for his murder.

This is a horrifying but oh-so-important book that examines power and abuse. It's difficult to read, but it's one of the books that I think everyone must.

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Review: ALLEGEDLY by Tiffany D. Jackson

 

Allegedly by Tiffany D. Jackson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Mary B. Addison killed a baby.

Allegedly. She didn’t say much in that first interview with detectives, and the media filled in the only blanks that mattered: A white baby had died while under the care of a churchgoing black woman and her nine-year-old daughter. The public convicted Mary and the jury made it official. But did she do it? She wouldn’t say.

Mary survived six years in baby jail before being dumped in a group home. The house isn’t really “home”—no place where you fear for your life can be considered a home. Home is Ted, who she meets on assignment at a nursing home.

There wasn’t a point to setting the record straight before, but now she’s got Ted—and their unborn child—to think about. When the state threatens to take her baby, Mary must find the voice to fight her past. And her fate lies in the hands of the one person she distrusts the most: her Momma. No one knows the real Momma. But who really knows the real Mary?


--


Allegedly is the third book by Tiffany D. Jackson that I've read, though it was her first published, and I know this is going to be a book that stays with me for a long time.

This book tells the story of a Mary, a Black girl who allegedly killed a white baby when she was nine years old. She's now 16, pregnant, in a group home, and fighting to find a way to keep her baby and clear her name. And it's... ahh, I just haven't got the words. This is a book that is dark and gritty, it's disturbing and emotional. And I was rooting for Mary the whole way...

But the ending--okay, so there's a HUGE twist (and I should've anticipated that, given Jackson wrote this). And the twist completely changes the whole story--like, literally you're in the final chapter and you learn something that means you view the whole of the rest of the book differently. And I can't decide whether I liked that twist. I mean, it was shocking and impactful, but with us only having one chapter for this twist, it made the ending feel a little rushed. I'd have liked a couple more chapters to really smooth it out and delve deeper into the implications of this twist. (A twist that I did not see coming whatsoever--and it's so hard to write about this without giving spoilers!)

Mary is a complex character. We feel her pain and desperation. She's realistic and so well written. In fact, all the characters are. But it's only once you get deep into the novel that you begin to realise just how unreliable Mary is as a narrator--yet the whole time I was willing her not to be the classic unreliable narrator. It really is such good writing.

And the twist at the end really changes the way you view Mary's mother--and both 'versions' of the mother are so believable. And that's just a sign of such fantastic writing.

I found this book addictive. I could not stop reading it. It also employs some excellent narrative devices to show other sides of the story. While Mary narrates the main narrative, we have snippets of police interviews, excerpts from books that others have written about the Mary B. Addison case, and interviews with Mary's mother and the mother of Alyssa, the baby who Mary allegedly murdered. 

It's a difficult book to read. Obviously, it deals with the murder of a baby. You've also got references to child abuse and rape, as well as a lot of discourse on racism. It is such an important read, I cannot stress that enough. But I do think I prefer Jackson's later books (which also deal with unreliable narrators and racism). Still, this is a highly recommended read.

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Review: THE PLEASURE PLAN by Laura Zam

The Pleasure Plan: A Sexual Healing Odyssey--1 Woman, 6 Sexual Problems, 30 Curative Adventures by Laura Zam
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Pleasure Plan by Laura Zam

Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect from this book going in—but as soon as I heard about it, I knew I wanted to read it. I’m in a group with other writers whose releases have been affected by Covid-19, and we each decided to buy and review 5 other books from the group. When I saw Laura Zam’s book, I was so intrigued. And part of this is because I am asexual. I don’t experience sexual attraction—so reading a book about sexual wellbeing and learning how to heal so you can enjoy sex appealed to me because I was curious. Sexual attraction and sex drives are outside of my own experience. And I do like reading about things I don’t experience or don’t identify with. I am also a massive fan of medical memoir, and I read this whole book in under a day.

The Pleasure Plan is part medical memoir, part self-help book. Zam tells us her story of healing from sexual trauma and her experiences of vaginismus, a physiological condition that makes vaginal penetration difficult or impossible, due to the body’s reaction to fear instigating muscle spasms.

This is such a personal story and I really commend Zam in writing it. It can’t have been easy, and the prose is well-written and the story insightful. She examines various medical professionals’ views toward female sexual experiences and sexuality, also examining the agency needed when one seeks out a diagnosis. She also explored her celibate year and what her sexuality means for her.

This book is so, so personal. I think that’s one thing that really surprised me. It recounts some very intimate moments in her search for sexual healing, and in doing so, Zam makes herself vulnerable. This book reveals her bravery.

But this book isn’t just about sex. It’s also about her marriage and her husband. It’s about the experiences that shaped her, the childhood sexual abuse she suffered, and how assault is about power. It’s an examination of her past relationships and patriarchal cultures. It’s also a story about her family and friends too, those who support her, and how they’ve been subjected to the negatives of patriarchal culture. It’s about Zam’s work as a playwright and the one-person play she also wrote on this topic. It’s about her examining her pain from many different angles as she seeks to heal herself.

The Pleasure Plan is a very feminist text. Zam encourages women to take control of their bodies and shows them that their pleasure is important. It’s the feminist slant that I was really able to engage with. As an asexual, I didn’t really identify with Zam’s desire to “fix” her sexual problems, not on a personal level, but I did find it really interesting. Particularly the examination of sexual drive and Zam’s year of celibacy. (I was also really pleased to see it called celibacy as often it’s mistakenly referred to as asexuality—but right from the start, Zam tells us she’s a sexual being and doesn’t identify as asexual, so I was really pleased about this distinction.) Zam tells us of the many professionals she consulted and one of them—one of the first in the book—did say it is fine to have no libido. I really appreciated this—as so often asexuals are treated as if there’s something wrong with us that needs fixing. We’re often viewed as “broken.” And so when Zam questions the idea of being broken at the start—“what if I’m just broken?”—this was something that really engaged me and that I was able to relate to, albeit Zam was talking about the painful sex she experienced, and not identifying as asexual and being perceived as broken because of others’ views on asexuality.

But when you look at Zam’s experiences without focusing on sex and her quest for sexual healing, you see the statements that she’s also making about female health care. And these are universal things. Zam shows us how female health is often seen as of lesser importance than male health. It seems women are expected to endure some pain—and often female pain isn’t taken seriously or it’s just seen as “normal”. At one point in the book, Zam tells us of how she hides her pain, feeling ashamed to talk about it, only to discover she’s actually got complications from appendicitis and is at risk of becoming septic. The doctor tells her she must have a high pain threshold and I think this is a part that really spoke to me. Because this memoir highlights female resilience in a society where female pain isn’t talked about and thus female resilience is often overlooked or ignored.

The writing itself is really good—and it’s clear Zam is a writer. All the other people in her book have great descriptions and characterisation, and Zam is at times analytical in how these people’s behaviour is shaped by their own experiences. These people feel real.

The workbook/self-help sections did throw me a little. Each chapter ends with a little section where the reader is invited to work on healing from their own sexual trauma or dysfunction so they can enjoy sex. Obviously I am not the target market here, but I have never seen this format before in a medical memoir. It made it fresh and new, even if I was surprised at first. But for those reading this book because they also want sexual healing, I can really see how these parts will be helpful.

Overall, this is a thoughtful and insightful memoir that I’m sure will have significant value to many women seeking sexual healing.


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Review: TRIAL OF THORNS by Stacey Trombley

Trial of Thorns by Stacey Trombley
My rating: 5 of 5 stars


In a ruthless competition of blood and magic, attraction to the enemy may be the biggest weakness of all.

I am Caelynn of the Shadow Court, banished to the human realm for killing a fae prince in my youth. But when I learn my homeland is in peril, I strike a bargain.

The Trial of Thorns will decide a champion to save the realm from a terrible plague, and secure the winner fame and fortune. I could care less about the money or notoriety--I'm playing for freedom. If I win, I will earn a full pardon. And I intend to win.

But I don’t account for Reveln being one of my opponents. We've got...history. And ten years later, he's even hotter than I remember. Oh, right, he also hates me.

Only one of us can win, and Rev will do everything in his power to make sure I don’t make it out of the trials alive.

Because ten years ago, I killed his brother.

And Reveln never forgets.


TRIAL OF THORNS is the first book in the WICKED FAE series, featuring kick-ass women, fated mates, and a slow burn, enemies to lovers romance. Readers of Holly Black's Cruel Prince, Sarah J Maas' A Court of Thorns and Roses and Audrey Grey's Evermore Academy will love this book!
I was lucky enough to read an ARC of TRIAL OF THORNS by Stacey Trombley, and I really couldn’t read it quickly enough.

This is a smart and sexy Hunger Games, told in dual POV by the heroine and hero. Caelynn and Rev are both excellent narrators. I always worry when I hear a book is duel POV in case the narrative voices sound the same, but Trombley doesn’t have this problem. Even without the chapter headings indicating who the narrator is, it was clear simply by the writing style itself.

The worldbuilding is amazing. I just love this world--and the backstory is woven into the narrative and plot so seamlessly. There's no heavy info dump.

There's also a great female friendship/romantic relationship in this story too, so points for LGBT+ rep here.

Overall, this is a great story. Super fun and engaging, and I love Caelynn's dark past.

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Review: CRACKED UP TO BE by Courtney Summers

Cracked Up to Be by Courtney Summers
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

When "Perfect" Parker Fadley starts drinking at school and failing her classes, all of St. Peter's High goes on alert. How has the cheerleading captain, girlfriend of the most popular guy in school, consummate teacher's pet, and future valedictorian fallen so far from grace?

Parker doesn't want to talk about it. She'd just like to be left alone, to disappear, to be ignored. But her parents have placed her on suicide watch and her conselors are demanding the truth. Worse, there's a nice guy falling in love with her and he's making her feel things again when she'd really rather not be feeling anything at all.

Nobody would have guessed she'd turn out like this. But nobody knows the truth.

Something horrible has happened, and it just might be her fault.

So, last year I read my first book by Courtney Summers. It was SADIE, and I loved it sooooo much. Instantly, I knew I had to read more of Summers’s books—but you know what? I was apprehensive. I thought that no other book could possibly live up to the expectations I now had. Because SADIE was phenomenal.

But with the ten-year anniversary of Summers’s debut novel, CRACKED UP TO BE, coming up, and it being reissued with a gorgeous new cover, I persuaded myself to buy a copy. I’m ashamed to say it still took me a while to get around to reading it. That is until yesterday arrived.

I started CRACKED UP TO BE at 2pm, and by 8pm I’d finished it. It’s amazing. Simply amazing. I might even love it more than Sadie.

It’s unusual for me to read a whole book in one sitting, and this just proves how good this book is.

The tenth-anniversary addition includes a new introduction written by Summers, and I loved the insight she gives us to her characters. Although, when reading it, I hadn’t yet started the novel, I already knew I’d adore the protagonist, Parker, as Summer tells us she’s considered to be “unlikeable”—precisely because she has the qualities and characteristics that are celebrated in male characters.

And, wow, I was not wrong about liking her. Parker is quite possibly the best protagonist I’ve read. Ever.

Let’s just let that sink in for a moment.

The best protagonist ever.

Yep, that’s how good this book is.

Parker is a troublemaker. She’s constantly in trouble at school. She’s dark and mysterious, she’s got a drink problem, and she’s harbouring a dark, dark secret that haunts her. Her behaviour is reckless and wild—but she’s also got a soft, vulnerable side. She cares deeply about others.

She feels so real. So, so real. Her actions are totally understandable. She’s afraid to let others close to her, so she pushes them away. She’s not just a reckless character for the sake of being reckless.

Just, wow. And even her narrative voice is amazing. It’s so unique.

And the plot. It is soooo good. We’ve got a missing girl and a murder, and a girl struggling with what she’s seen, as well as many other characters who are all struggling as well—but in different ways.

The other main characters—Jake, Chris, and Becky—are equally well written. So believable. Ah, I really can’t say enough good things about this book.

It’s told in a dual timeline. We’ve got the present day action interspersed with flashbacks all pertaining to one night. The night that a girl went missing. The night that was the catalyst for everything bad that happened. The night that turned Parker from a high-achieving student into a girl who’s broken and haunted and trying to pretend she isn’t.

Okay—spoilers ahead now, so skip this paragraph if you don’t want to know. When it was revealed that the missing girl Jessie was Parker’s best friend everything made so much sense. That’s when it all started to come together. And I couldn’t read quickly enough.

*Content warning for rape, sexual assault, attempted suicide.*

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Review: MEAT MARKET by Juno Dawson

Meat Market by Juno Dawson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Jana Novak's history sounds like a classic model cliché: tall and gangly, she's uncomfortable with her androgynous looks until she's unexpectedly scouted and catapulted to superstardom.

But the fashion industry is as grimy as it is glamorous. And there are unexpected predators at every turn.

Jana is an ordinary girl from a south London estate, lifted to unimaginable heights. But the further you rise, the more devastating your fall ...

Honest and raw, this is a timely exposé of the dark underbelly of the fashion industry in an era of #TimesUp and #MeToo. It might just be Juno Dawson's most important book yet.

--

I’ve been reading so many amazing books recently and MEAT MARKET by Juno Dawson is definitely now top of my list. It’s just that good.

Last year I read CLEAN by Dawson, and I fell in love with her writing. I knew that this was an author I just had to read more of. And so when I got the chance to grab a copy of MEAT MARKET I just couldn’t read it fast enough.

This is the story of Jana Novak, a girl who is scouted to become a model. Initially reluctant, she goes ahead with it—and becomes one of the big names in the model industry.

This is just an amazing book. Dawson uses Java’s journey to show how toxic the modelling industry is. She exposes the sexism and impossibly high standards models are held accountable to, giving readers a powerful insight into this industry. Important topics such as sexual assault in the workplace and the #MeToo movement are explored tactfully and powerfully.

MEAT MARKET examines how models’ bodies are seen as commodities and just how bad some models are treated.

We see how this culture encourages eating disorders and how models are seen everywhere, but rarely heard. We rarely know what a model’s voice sounds like. They’re very much used just for their body.

We also see how drugs play a big role in this industry. Dawson skilfully shows how Jana starts off bright-eyed and eager, only to succumb to the impossible standards imposed on her and the relentless pressures, eventually choosing to take drugs to numb herself to the harsh realities of the modelling industry, in order to continue her career. As Jana becomes addicted to the drug, it provides a haziness to both her and the reader. I almost felt like I was also drugged at times as I read. That’s how good the writing is.

And yes, the narrative voice. It is phenomenal. Seriously good. Jana’s voice is unique and it grabs you. I also loved how there are a variety of different literary devices employed to tell the story alongside Jana's narrative. We've also got a film transcript and articles.

This is one of those books that is so important to read, and I really recommend that everyone reads it. It’s a powerful YA story and even though I finished it days ago, I can’t stop thinking about it.

*content warning for: sexual assault, rape, eating disorders, transphobic comments directed at the MC*

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